EXERCISE

JOGGING IS BAD FOR YOU. (Get the rest of the family to jog instead. It will make them that much quicker when they run for the ambulance.)

I ALWAYS EXERCISE AS I QUITE ENJOY UNBEARABLE CHEST PAIN, INABILITY TO BREATHE AND MY HEAD SLAMMING INTO A CEMENT FLOOR. I DON'T EVEN MIND TURNING BLUE, AS IT BLENDS WELL WITH THE WALLPAPER.

I CANT EXERCISE TODAY AS I'M FLAT OUT. (On my back.)

I'LL START TOMORROW.

I'M FEELING A BIT ILL TODAY. (Because I've eaten too much.)

I DID 12 SIT-UPS THIS MORNING. (Trying to get out of bed.)

SEX IS EQUIVALENT TO A TEN-KILOMETRE RUN. (In your case it's equivalent to ten kilometres by public transport.)

A - B - C - D - E - F - G - H - I - J - K - L - M - N - O - P - Q - R - S - T - U - V - W - X - Y - Z